Audience donations from this production will help support SODA, Survivors of Domestic Abuse.
We help plant the seed for victims, giving them the choice of taking back control of their life.
‘I set up SODA 13 years ago in May 2009, after escaping an offender I existed with for three years. When he split my lip open as I held our ten-month-old-daughter in my arms, I knew that was my wakeup call and things had to change.
Dressed in her Babygro, I put my baby into her pram and made my way to my local police station to make a statement. It wasn’t the first time that I had done this, but it would be the last time I retracted one. It was only when I was given a questionnaire that I learned how controlled I had been during the last 3 years.
I moved into his flat with him 2 weeks after first meeting him, without me knowing or understanding, subtly he was controlling me. It started with isolation, when he didn’t want me to see my mum and before I knew it, I was seeing her less and less and when I did see her or speak to her, there were always consequences for me to pay.
I found it quite odd when he kept telling me, the only way I got my job as a Legal Secretary was by sleeping with my boss. I didn’t think much of his words, until he locked me in the flat and threw my mobile phone out of the seventh-floor window. Two days later when I got to my workplace, I tried to explain to my boss what was happening to me behind closed doors, but my word fell on deaf ears and I was instantly sacked.
He would criticise and make comments on the clothes that I wore, he hated all of my friends and would humiliate me in front of them making them feel uncomfortable to the point that they wouldn’t visit any more. The first time I went out with a girlfriend to a pub he bombarded me with calls and text messages, accusing me of cheating on him and if I loved him, I wouldn’t leave him on his own.
That was the last time I went out with a friend. The only place I could go out alone was shopping and even then, he would get his mum to phone and text me asking when I was going back home. He monitored all of my movements and controlled every aspect of my life, from when I slept to what I ate.
I strongly believe the one thing that we can all do for victims of domestic abuse is raise awareness, using the media and social media as a platform to share our lived experience with others.’
Sam Billingham, Founder SODA
1 in 4 women will experience domestic abuse at some point during their lifetime.
1 in 6 men will experience domestic abuse at some point during their lifetime.